Mega Weekend Edition

Posted on May 26, 2006

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This post will have to be a compilation of ideas and thoughts from the preceding week because I’ve become a scatter-brained, blathering, one-armed paper hanging moron.

OK, OK, I’m not a moron and I hate to wallpaper or paint. But I’m losing my mind and have had about a billion great ideas for Blog posts, but I haven’t had the time or inclination to get them down on electronic paper and up into the ether.

So here are some mini-posts. If you need a daily Bowl of Cheese fix, then just read one of these at a time. Rocket Girl – this means YOU!

Clumsy. It’s not what I am, it’s currently who I am. It doesn’t help, I imagine, that I’m well over my fighting weight of 171. But my spatial acuity has gone the way of the $1.87 gallon of gas.

Similar to a puppy, an adolescent boy or Gerald Ford, I’m bumping into things, knocking stuff over and just doing my own personal Chevy Chase skit on a regular basis. In fact, when nutmeg and I were in charge of Rocket Girl and Solar Boy’s house (NO NOTHING GOT BROKEN), I enjoyed a sprained ankle all weekend.

The ankle injury wasn’t the result of any actual activity other than going to get the laundry at my house before I hopped in my pocket car and ventured out to house sit. It seems that when I clamored down the rock outside my front door and used it as a shortcut to the basement, I might have jammed my ankle when I delicately landed on another rock.

Thinking back, THAT was NOT the event that did it….see how my brain isn’t up to speed!!??? As a side-note, I think the coffee has something to do with this. I have started drinking coffee occasionally and now I have lost the ability to think without it. Coffee is the worst legal ‘drug’ we have in this country. It requires better regulation and tariffs.

OK. The ankle – and by the way, this so-called ‘multi-post’ will actually only be one post. Once I got rolling, I figured the topic is large enough for one entry and I’ll prepare a couple others with the other stuff I was going to say here.

ALSO, coffee does not give you ADD because ADD is like the unicorn, the pot of gold and the common-sense democrat, IT DOESN’T EXIST.

ANKLE. I know recall that when the plow comes by the house in the winter, it scrapes away a ledge at the edge of my yard next to the street. I park on the street because dogs poop in my driveway and I quickly got tired of getting out of my car and into a pile of crap. Some might argue that my little Scion is a pile of crap, but I continually digress.

So, the car is parked at the side of the yard next to the 4-inch ledge. My neighbor, let’s call her Lisa because that’s her name, came home from work as I was getting ready to go north to house sit. I hadn’t seen her for a while and thought I might make some pleasant conversation.

So, as I ambled across the lawn and descended the curve of the grass toward the street, I paid more attention to Lisa than I did to the act of walking. At the ledge, I SEVERELY twisted my ankle. But, as any guy knows, I pretended it didn’t hurt and ignored it while she and I chatted.

Then, since I am not ADD – but have a tiny attention issue because of the illegal coffee – I completely forgot about my catastrophic injury until later that night at Rocket Girl and Solar Boy’s house when it started to swell.

I thought it was the result of some other activity, but it now seems clear that it was caused by Lisa across the street. And I blame her.

More to come…

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Posted in: Genius, Home, Life, Rant, Travel